First of all, self-love doesn’t mean you are selfish. I hear many people combining these two. Selfish is an attitude where you only think about yourself without considering other people around you.
Self-love simply means you love yourself for who you are. You accept yourself with your strengths and weaknesses. You respect yourself. It is a positive awareness of your own person.
Self care is a good tool for self love!
If you love and accept yourself, you are able to accept and love others for the person who they are. For us mothers, if you can self-love, your children are most likely to pick this up and are able to accept and love themselves for the ones who they are (which is so important!).
Be aware of yourself
Self-awareness is a great tool to know what you feel and what you want. As a result of it, you can act on your feelings and goals. Do things that will support you and avoid living only for others. It’s important to look after yourself to be able to look after others. Also an important part as being a mother!
Practise good self-care
Make yourself a priority in your own life! Even if it is just something little, for example a bubble bath, reading a book or exercise. Fit it in your daily schedule and make time for yourself. You will feel so much better when you have actually done something for yourself and don’t feel like you are only functioning for the rest of the family or everyone else around you.
Set boundaries and protect yourself
A big one, learn to say no! It is ok to say no! Stay away from negative people that drain you and do you more harm than good. Surround yourself with positive people who bring you joy, happiness, respect and value you. You cannot be there for everyone and everything that is being asked of you. Prioritise whats important and requires your attention and decline the rest.
As I explained in my previous post “reasons why forgiveness makes you happy”. It is an important tool to be happy. No one is perfect, we are all human and we make mistakes. Therefore, don’t be too hard on yourself. It has happened, it is in the past and you can’t change it. Most importantly, learn from this mistake, avoid doing it again and move on. Even taking the time to reflect and evaluate an experience is self-care and self-love!
Find a purpose in your life. It doesn’t have to be a huge one. It can be very simple such as living a healthy and happy life or being a good role model for your children. Once you set yourself a purpose, you will start living accordingly. You will make decisions that support your purpose. It makes a huge difference to wake up and knowing why you are getting up for or why you are doing what you are doing. You are working towards a goal!
Again, this doesn’t have to be a huge reward. Simple things are easy to keep up and have the same meaning. For example, buy yourself a new dress or go out for dinner. Celebrate yourself when you have reached a goal. Tap yourself on your back when something worked out! After all, we are living only one live and why shouldn’t we be happy when things are working out and especially when we have worked hard to get there! You are allowed to be happy for yourself!
Above all, remember you are important: You are unique and special – love and respect yourself!